In May 2018, a three-day traffic jam persisted on the Schuylkill Expressway—a pride of peacocks, escapees from the nearby Philadelphia Zoo, were purposefully marching down the side of the highway on a top-secret mission. The birds (Tom, Dick, Harry, and Pat) kept successfully evading capture, despite the efforts of zoo officials (Zoo Official) and state police (State Policeman), as covered by the press (Jim, Andrea). Two exhausted birds eventually returned to the zoo, one was hit by a car, and the youngest of them has yet to be found. This is their story, from their POV.